Whether you call it betrayal, cheating, infidelity or something else doesn't change the fact that it's probably one of the most painful episodes you'll ever go through. There are ways to deal with the pain of infidelity if you choose to forgive it. At this point, the pain your feeling may be beyond description. While it may be that forgiving someone who's cheated on you makes no sense at all right now, such a course of action definitely has benefits for you. You might be doing this because your feelings for him are still strong, but an even more important reason is that you're doing it for yourself. There are so many ways that forgiving him and rebuilding the relationship will benefit you as well. Don't misunderstand - forgiving infidelity is something you can do only once in a relationship.  If this is a pattern, or if he repeats his bad behavior, you've got to toss him to the curb. If he seems remorseful and seeks your forgiveness, and wants to rebuild the relationship, then try the following steps:

Healing Infidelity Tip #1

The first step is this: sit down and have an honest talk with him about his infidelity. You've got to find out the real reason underlying his betrayal, which is why, no matter how hard it is to talk about, you've got to do it. If may be that he was going through one of those soul-searching times, or maybe he thought your feelings for him had diminished. This is a time you should be openhearted and open-minded.  Don't use this serious conversation as an excuse to browbeat him or try to make him feel bad - that's not how relationships are built or rebuilt. This discussion is critical to healing the pain of infidelity because you'll be able to tell if he's really sincere.

Healing Infidelity Tip #2

The second step is to uncork your emotions. There's a great deal of emotion bottled up inside you now. Express your emotions, let them out, but don't harm yourself in the process. Drugs and alcohol, fir example, are self-destructive approaches to handling emotional crises, and should be avoided. There are all sorts of ways to express those emotions, though, without risking your physical or mental health in the process. An excellent outlet is to write in a journal.  Another approach is to adopt a regular workout routine. The point is, though, that you've got to do something to get those emotions out of you - you've got to purge them. Even crying is a good option - as long as you let go of them. You must be healed yourself if you're going to heal your relationship.

Healing Infidelity Tip #3

The third step is making the actual choice to forgive him for betraying you. If you haven't forgiven him yet - even though you already decided you want to - it's time to take action one way or the other. You should be a little more confident now in his sincerity - take the big step and forgive him, let the past stay in the past. The strength to forgive him won't come from your mind, but from your heart.

Healing Infidelity Tip #4

The fourth step is to spend some time with a psychologist or other mental health professional or adviser. Your relationship needs some professional help, and that means each of you should talk with a counselor. An alternative would be to sit down together with a trusted friend, someone who's been through what you're going through. Of course, this will also require some hard work.  Remember especially to keep an open mind and listen to what he has to say. Don't waste your time, or your friend's by pointing fingers or being judgmental. The relationship won't be saved by either of you, or both of you, working alone.  It can only be restored if you work together.

Healing Infidelity Tip #5

The fifth and final step is this: accept what's happened, put it behind you, and move on with your life. It will take time for the two of you, working together, to overcome the pain caused by his betrayal. Infidelity's pain isn't going to vanish in the twinkling of an eye, especially for you.  This isn't something you can kiss and make better. Healing infidelity will come faster, though, if you look forward instead of backward.

Few things approach the pain of infidelity.  For the sake of your relationship, I hope that the steps here will help you overcome yours. No matter how hard we try, we all make mistakes. We decide if we're going to react badly to such bad experiences, or if we're going to learn and grow from them.